Tag Archives: Ridley Scott

Shoo! Alien, shoo! Leave Prometheus alone!

Oh, Ridley Scott. There you are looking back on your career thinking: “Yeah, Alien rocked. And yeah, Blade Runner totally rocked, too!” And you know what, Ridley, you are actually right. They are both fantastic films. I would argue that Alien is far more fantastic than Blade Runner, but because Alien is so fucking out there mega-fantastic that is like saying “Blade Runner is better than 99.9 percent of all films ever made”. And then Ridley? Then you’re all like: “Yeah, let’s revisit this and make another epic Sci-Fi action flick!” Did I mention that you probably look back on films like Gladiator and think that it was equally as awesome? Now there is the problem. Sometimes your films fucking stink. So, let’s talk about Prometheus, shall we?

via thewertzone.blogspot.com

Nothing in Prometheus makes any sense. Whatsoever.
Yup, it’s all a big bag of bullshit. Oh, a nice and pretty bag of bullshit. So shiny you need to look at it. And amidst all the shit squishing and squashing in there we find ideas and performances that are brilliant. But what makes this movie such a bag of bullshit is the problem that many films have: They could be so fucking awesome but somewhere along the way people started to make mistakes and didn’t stop with them. Prometheus is such a case.

via prometheus-movie.com

Everyone and their grandmother has said it by now, but it is worth repeating: The idea that these characters on this ship are scientist is laughable at best. Offensive really, cause what it shows is that obviously no one involved with this project had any idea of scientific work whatsoever. Or they must have hit their heads really hard. From the dumbass boyfriend being all sulky cause he just discovered alien life-forms on another planet and cannot ask them why they made him (not to mention taking off his helmet, cause he just ‘felt’ that he could probably breathe the air) to the “biologist” whose first instinct upon meeting new and aggressive life forms is to touch them in the face. And dear Elizabeth, our supposed heroine, she is what exactly? An archeologist / medical doctor /biologist /geneticist /what the hell? Girl can do it all. Cause she probably studied science. And when you studied a term that encompasses all the sciences ever, you can, of course, do everything that all sciences ever found out and use as their scientific instruments. Cause you’re fucking scientist, duh!

edgy haircut – he must be a scientist! (via flicksandbits.com)

Ok, we could roll our eyes forever because of how hard these people are clearly not scientists. Shall we look at the supposed science then? There is no use averting our eyes, the crap will still get through. The operation super-capsule thingy. WTF? Can do whatever operation needs to be done if you just press a few buttons and hop in. But oh, damn, thing is gender-programmed. Only works on men… For whatever fucking reason. Cause the hard-drive was too small to fit in the program for women? Are you kidding me? And then of course it also works on women, cause wouldn’t you know, just a dramatic effect. So thing operates a squid alien out of Elizabeth Shaw (and boy will we get to how she is not Ellen Motherfucking Ripley) and stitches her belly so that girl can run and jump and crunch and do whatnot AFTER HAVING HER BELLY BEING OPENED BY A LASER-BEAM AND BARELY STITCHED TOGETHER!! She should collapse within 20 centimeters of that damn machine and bleed out is what she should if that movie had any idea of how human bodies work.
But oh, this film so doesn’t. Guess what: the god-alien-whatever-beings DNA matches 100 percent with human DNA! Whoa! Except for no human beings have DNA matching a hundred percent (ok, twins do) and then again every living being on this planet shares a pretty large percentage of their DNA with ours. So instead of being all like: they created us! And they even kinda somewhat look like us! We should really wonder how the hell these beings are related to chicken, and cheetahs and chimpanzees. There is your scientific question, movie, you can run as fast as you want into the other direction, you won’t escape it.
And please, film, Ridely, whoever, tell me: If these beings come to a planet, dissolve and by that create life on a planet – how do they end up being pictured by cavemen? Did they wait for a few million years to come back and say Hi, uh, by the way look at these stars, if you ever figure out what we mean come and visit us there? Oh yeah, that seems to make so much sense, EXCEPT FOR IT FUCKING DOESN’T. The inconsistencies of this movie are to frustrating, it’s almost painful. Just like having just had an operation and then having to …run? jump? fall? scream? Right, Elizabeth?

Ellen, ermh, Ellie? (via guardian.co.uk)

It’s frustrating because the movie plays this “uh, we’re asking the big and important questions” card but instead of attempting to answer them they fall short of answering even the simplest questions that just derive from the plot and the actions. How come the black liquid goo thing kills Elizabeths boyfriend but turns the other one into a killing monster? Why would it even? Makes no fucking sense. Completely unnecessary, strengthens my disbelief and makes me wonder: if the black goo thingy can turn people so easily into whatever fucking monster it wants them to be, why does it have to go to such great lengths to create super-complicated reproduction cycles like the one of the alien? Tell you why: cause black goo and monsters and alien aren’t really logically related and shouldn’t be related in a movie that has no idea of what it is doing.

via flicksandbits.com

What I hate hate hate in movies is the parents-complex thing. So many movies think they provide their protagoinists with motivation because they do what their parents said, or exactly the opposite or something to get their attention. It is there in the recently reviewed Snow White, it lies at the core of The Dark Knight Rises, which I intend to review next and we find it here with Elizabeth Shaw, David the Android, Charlize Theron’s character and oh, basically all mankind, cause we no have to think of those milky white muscle hunks as our daddies. I fucking hate this shit. Having no other motivation for things than you’re parents is the lamest story-telling device in the history of everything ever. Like Elizabeth Shaw is a scientist because of her father, but also religious, because of him, and neither is she a believable scientist nor does her faith have any effect on the plot whatsoever and is nothing but backstory we’re supposed to swallow to think that she is deep and shit, but really it’s just superficial nonsense. Meredith Vickers relationship with her father is so irrelevant, because we have no clue what is going on, we have no clue what her motivation is, and ultimately none of it plays any role in how these events unfold. It is just there and irritating. Granted, it could have been so much more interesting, if the film had focused on the sibling rivalry between Ms. Vickers and David, but we only get glimpses of that. Waste.

AAAAHHHH!! Why does this plot suck so hard?? (via lightsconnoraction.blogspot.com)

The biggest waste in this movie is David, who is also one of the redeeming qualities. Of course the movie looks fantastic, it is beautiful cinematography, the effects are neat. I like how the aliens look, and even though I find it totally absurd, I like how the aliens evolve throughout the movie. But what is really a saving grace and at the same time the major issue is Michael Fassbender as the android David. Because his performance is brilliant and because his character is actually interesting. All the questions that dumb scientist boyfriend mumbles about are just that same that he asks, but he really asks them and he acts on the impulse to want to find out. And along the way he does dubious things, in full knowledge of their dubiousness. Had the movie about him for 2 hours it would probably have been a better movie.

via cinemaforever.blog.de

BUT this movie wanted to hold on to the alien tradition of strong female character with the introduction of Elizabeth Shaw and FAILED. Now, mind you, I like Noomi Rapace and I think her performance was good. And even though I thought “girl, really?” practically every two seconds I still found her character engaging. But my oh my, does the writing on this character sabotage her. We’re supposed to be thinking of her as Ellen Ripley and then again not, cause she is caring, and crying, has a relationship, is compassionate, is religious, yadda yadda. Then we give her some monsters to run from, some gross beings to kill and everyone will think that she is just as badass as Ellen Ripley. Right? RIGHT?????
Hell to the no. Because that was the brilliance of Alien. For a long time it wasn’t even clear that Ellen Ripley was going to be our protagonist. First she is somewhat of a cold bitch and only after some time we find out that we are probably going to spend the rest of this movie – and the rest of the fight against the alien – with her. And she did kick ass with the weapons she found, with the information she gathered. She sweated and screamed and was terrified yet acted on her instinct to survive. In short: She acted like a human being. She felt like a human being. Like the other characters in Alien. In Prometheus we have none of that. They are all tools. Like characters from any CSI series out there we are meant to think of them as real and deep characters because they have a tattoo, or they like to scream out loud when happy or cry because they can’t have babies and nothing in the world is more terrible for the existence of a woman (and in case you don’t notice, I’m being sarcastic here). That is all bullshit. That is all just nonsense, covering up for the fact that none of these people act like real people would. They make stupid decisions because the plot requires them to and none of it stems from any sort of believable motivation. And if you’re characters are void of believable motivations then your film is, ermh, bordering irrelevance.

Looks and feels familiar? (via filmkritiker.com)

It is pretty to look at, it sounds nice. I can appreciate that there were good ideas, that some parts were written well (David spending his time alone on board of the ship). As an Alien mega-fan I appreciate going back to that story, to this being. Re-discovering the jockey on that planet. Seeing the alien again, connecting its birth with the terror that awaits Ellen Ripley in the future. But that is all just intellectual meta-level shit. That’s appreciation for what this movie accidentally got right. All in all it got pretty much everything it had going for it wrong. Nonetheless I don’t want to give up hope. The ending screams sequel and you never know, they might just end up making a better movie when we follow Elizabeth Shaw and David the android to the corners of the universe to find out where the creator-beings came from .
Until then we can imagine how other scientists would behave in a movie like this. Mathematicians probably wouldn’t know fractions. Egyptologist would probably never had heard of the pyramids – or would want to blow them up. Directors would make good movies with a coherent plot – oops, wait. That’s no science. Or is it now?

Bye David, see you in the sequel! (via pcgames.de)

Dun-dun-dun!

If you liked this, you can check out my Alien reviews in the directory HERE.

In space no one can hear you scream: Alien

It’s hard to believe, but it’s already been 32 years since the original Alien movie hit theaters all over the world. It’s a classic. And it is one hell of a classic, at that. You might consider the original Star Wars movie (now Episode IV, ha!) to be a classic, but me sez: Alien fucking takes Star Wars down with a bang. Fear not, I will elaborate.

via wikipedia

In German there was a fun subtitle to the Alien release: “Das unheimliche Wesen aus einer fremden Welt,” which sounds totally cool in German IMHO, and which translates roughly as “the uncanny being from another world.” Where Star Wars really is a space opera that seems to be much more of a fantasy quest, Alien is science fiction, practically as sf as it gets. It is set in the future, dealing with interstellar travelling on spacecrafts, computing technologies and encountering alien life forms. Granted, you could bring forth all that for Star Wars as well (which I’ll abandon in a second, promised), but where Star Wars steers off into romance/melodrama territory, Alien takes an altogether different route and decides to go all horror genre on our asses.

Horror, these days, sounds like we’re talking high school jocks and their scantily clad girlfriends getting slaughtered by chainsaw-mutants, but the horror of Alien is more of a traditional sort. While we also see some blood and buckets of human organs, much of the horror in Alien is about the fear. Somewhere on that vast spacecraft there is one being that is going to kill all others. Where is it? Where will it hide? And will the human (or feline) protagonists be quicker?

Alien was directed by Ridley Scott, who deserves all the praise imaginable for this movie alone, but he is also responsible for Blade Runner, which is also a really really good movie (though not among my favourites, gasp). Some people also like to talk about him as the director of Gladiator, but I’d rather pretend that movie never happened and act like the person who directed Alien in 1979 cannot be the same as the one who did Gladiator. Maybe his body was replaced with an Android during the shooting of Blade Runner? Now there’s an explanation I can live with.

via isthatyouboy.com

The movie can be summed up with two words: Alien and Ripley. There is one of each, and that is a good thing. Later instalments of the franchise (except for Alien³) come with an abundance of Aliens who develop all sorts of gimmicky tricks, but in the original movie it is basically one on one, if we ignore the fact of the rest of the crew for a moment. Because let’s face it: it is ever so creepier that one single being can take down a crew of seven, one by one and resists almost all their attempts to kill it. And of course there are other factors that add to the creepiness of t it all, which is the claustrophic and dark atmosphere the vast spacecraft Nostromo provides us with, there is the uncanny birth and growth of the Alien itself and its design that seems to have creeped out of the weirdest dreams anyone (or H.R. Giger for that matter) could have.
And then there is Ripley. I’m going to get to the rest of the cast in a minute, but Ripley, I mean, Ellen Motherfucking Ripley, is one hell of a character to come up with in any sort of movie. Sure, she is skinny and pretty, but she also looks like she could just be working on your next car-assembly line, and she is for the major part of the movie a character we as viewers are not told to symphathize with. Actually, she kinda comes off as a bitch in some of the major scenes, although we admittedly understand early on that she is not a smartass and totally full of herself, but actually smart, confident and genuinely worried about the whole situation. Plus, she takes the Alien down. And likes the cat. The then practically unknown Sigourney Weaver could not have asked for a better head-start for an international movie career or a better role for a female lead in 1979 in a major Hollywood production. Lucky gal got both.

Alien cast, via wikipedia

What a lot of movies get horribly wrong, is that they think they have to throw in an ensemble of characters that have some sassy dialogue and get killed off one after the other. What this movie gets wonderfully right is understanding that we have to care about these characters. And in Alien the whole crew, alongside Ripley, gets introduced and established in a way that not only gives the impression that these are real people, but what they do and say and worry about actually feels real. Because the shortcoming of a lot of science fiction movies in my opinion is the reliance on shiny electronics and management-level service jobs. But these people work. They are on this fucking huge spacecraft, cause they’re mining another planet. They need money, and they’re afraid they might not be getting it. They are employees, all caught in a hierarchy set up through their respective jobs within the company (Weyland-Yutani, yay) that creates tension within the crew. And some of the guys make sexist remarks, which is totally fine with me, cause they act like people do, while the women on the Nostromo respond as most women would and do (hell yeah, Alien, surprise y’all, passes the Bechdel test, if just barely. Oh, and the central operating system goes by “mother”).
No discussion of the Nostromo-crew is complete without mentioning Jones, the cat, of course. If Laika can go space-travel with the Soviets, why should there not be a cat on the Nostromo and provide some comfort to the space-laborers? A cat is so much more random than say, a dog, less instantly likeable for all her independence and strong will and far more eerie when it comes to reacting to humans or aliens. In short: the cat is awesome. And how awesome is it, that Ripley could practically take off and leave the alien behind on the about to explode ship, but runs back and grabs the cat, cause she can’t leave without Jonesy, the only other “crew-member” alive? That, my dears, is the human touch. In your face!

via aliensandpredators.tumblr.com

There is one lesson about Robotics we can learn from Alien: Androids are made by human beings, even though they are not human beings. They are created for specific purposes, and they usually outsmart (computer brain) and outwrestle (steel-skeleton) you. I’m reading Isaac Asimov short stories at the moment, with the three laws of Robotics that state that robots can’t hurt or kill human beings. Well, clearly, no one in the Alien universe heard of that law. Cause our favorite resident Droid Ash, played by Bilbo Baggins Ian Holm, is designed to make sure that Weyland-Yutani, the charming company, makes a decent profit with possible bio-weapons Alien-style, and does most certainly not care too much about the lives of you human beings, sorry. But of coursely it is not that simple: the nuanced performance confronts us with a character that seems torn. After all it is not just “a robot is a robot is a robot,” but it is an artificial intelligence that is capable of coming to its own conclusions. So while for a long time we and the rest of the crew do not know about Ash’s android-relations, when we do, we encounter a character that seems to have doubts about his actions, but pursues them nevertheless. The company made sure that its interests will be protected. And thus, human greed can easily be transferred into non-human (or semi-human? or meta-human?) androids.

via generacionfriki.blogspot.com

The android and the questions that he creates take us deep into the science fiction aspects of the story. Being there, let’s take a look around: the year is 1979 in real-earth-time, and computers are loud and big and exhibit the graphic abilities of a three-year-old child (blinking lights and green writing appearing painfully slow on flickering screens). However, in contrast to other SF movies, Alien’s technology holds up surprisingly well, which has a lot to do with it being less of the slick and clean type a la Avatar and more of the gritty dirty reality that people are likely to encounter when they have to work. And on this interstellar freight-ship these computers look like they belong there, even in 200 years from now. Ok, people will have their iPads, iPods and iPets (instead of Jonesy? Aaaargh!), but although the computers are kind of amusing, they still feel real. Then again that might only be me thinking that because I was born in the 80s and thought SimCity2000 was an awesome game, being so big to need TWO floppy disks and running on Windows 3.1. So if you were born mid-90s chances are considerably slimmer to find this type of technology relatable. Don’t smirk, two floppy disks were a lot.

via hrgiger.com

Do I really have to talk about the meta-level and comment on the superb filmmaking going into this one? The awesome minimalist score? The conceptual artwork that translates beautifully into the creation of the Alien itself and all the surroundings? The wonderful cinematography and lighting? And last but not least that incredible pacing: taking its time, building things up and then have horror unfold itself far out in space? No, right? Cause we all know how fantastically the movie is crafted. We’ve seen it, duh!

Three things remain to be commented on.
First, we have an almost exclusively white cast, and I can imagine there being more diversity, that being said, the movie is pretty perfect as it is, and I’m barely bugged by the lack of people of color, but, you know, still.
And then second and third – the other ship and many eggs. Yep, there was one Alien, but there are going to be many many more Aliens, just you wait. Cause hey planet where they landed on to trace the signal, we’ll be coming back to you in the sequel. Unfortunately we don’t get to see the other spacecraft and the giant jockey anymore.
But then, there is talk of a possible prequel being produced. Ridley Scott is allegedly interested, and Sigourney Weaver most certainly is, although she does not fit well into a prequel…. And prequels – or re-boots – can be fun, but in the case of Alien, where especially the first movie is such a singularly stellar piece of work, there is always the danger that a prequel takes away from that, in that a new interpretation of events gets established, one that kind of predetermines what we see happening here and one that possibly diminishes this feeling of witnessing a first contact – and a horrible one at that.

Not only floppy disks mentioned here, no, I’m actually holding up a VHS tape. Can you even believe it? Go and watch Alien now!

Click here for the “February is Alien Month!” master index!