OMG Alex, you are probably about to say, so much reality TV in this world and you cover so little of it. What is wrong with you? Alas, the questions shall be answerethed. And I gotta admit: We are already waaaayyy into cycle 16 of America’s Next Topmodel, Tyra’s beloved brainchild. So this post right here is long overdue. But now I have the perfect excuse which is really just a sad sad occasion: My personal favorite, Mikaela, had to leave last week. Tears and nervous breakdowns, y’all.
So, why exactly was Mikaela my favorite? Well, just take another look at the photo above. That face. You know, just to remind me mere human being that every now and then nature decides that it is time to spew out another being that is carrying around remarkable facial features that also look really good. Bwah, thanks, or whatever. So admittedly, I wanted Mikaela to win because she is so pretty, but also admittedly, personality-wise she didn’t really make me explode emotionally.
Apart from that, how terrible was last episode anyways? Alexandria is pulling the major bitch and once a girl calls her out for it and defends her position all the judges and especially Tyra are all like “shut your trap and forget about honesty for like fucking ever.” Way to go, Tyra, way to go. What is all that blabber about role-models and alla that? You’re setting the worst examples by punishing honesty and rewarding fakeness. I know I shouldn’t get worked up about a reality TV show, but no matter what it is or how real those events are, they are sending a message. And last weeks episode sent the worst fucking message you could send out to young girls. Be cute and act humble while bringing up all sorts of assholery but never ever speak your mind and be confident. Argh.
So, cycle 16, what have you taught us so far? Well, if you are a model with an editorial look that really likes feminism you’re gonna get kicked out, although it’s also kinda weird to think of yourself as this hardcore feminist and then participate in a modelling competition on reality TV.
We also learned that plus size is now fiercely real, because obviously “smiling with your eyes” and “modelling from H to T” are getting a little old.
And being an asshole is better than being honest.
So, what’s left in store for us? Of course we all hope that Alexandria’s butt gets kicked off asap, we can still grin derangedly for the aweseomness that is Jaclyn and her inability to say one single swear-word and hope that either her or Kasia wins, cause let’s be real, Brittani won’t make it no more and Molly is fun but too boring so satisfy us.
And if you’re thinking that I’m totally out of my mind for liking ANTM and writing about it, you are abso-fuckin-lutely right. Sorriez.